WOMANIFESTING

My name is Benita Robinson Osbey and this is my womanifesting story.

I am Kevin’s wife, Barbara’s daughter, Bennett and Barton’s sister, Willie Edward and Deborah’s niece, and Jeremy, Deven, Joel, Taylor, and Jordyn’s auntie. I am a cousin, Godmother, friend, classmate, UCLA graduate, ardent Obama supporter, diehard Lakers fan, dynamic Soror of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated, and Christian woman of strong faith. I hope this is how people see me, and not as Benita with cancer. Cancer does not define me, it is something I live with, but it is not who I am.

March 1, 2011 will forever be etched in my mind. I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. I can remember that day like it was yesterday. What I had on and how I felt before I walked in to the Oncologist’s office. We were having an early spring, so it was a little warmer than it normally is in March. I still recall thinking, “I can’t be sick. Why I am going to see an Oncologist?” That day, I felt like a crisp spring salad with peaches and strawberries on top. Everyone knows I am a hybrid of California and Georgia, so I call myself a strawberry peach girl. In the words of my dear friend Meri Culp, I was looking “fruit sassy.” I had on the cutest dress with bright blossoming colors and some cute peep toe shoes. Because after all, this was some sort of mistake, I could not be sick. When the Oncologist said to me, “You have Ovarian Cancer,” my big brown eyes just stared at him as if he was speaking a foreign language. I remember him taking my hand, placing it on my lower abdomen and pelvis area and saying, “Couldn’t you feel that lump?” I told him, “No, because no one has ever told me to feel there. I have been taught to feel my breasts, in my armpit and even down my arm, but never my abdomen.” He then went to say, "Didn't you notice that your stomach had gotten larger. I turned to him with a head roll and replied, "All of me has gotten larger. My butt, legs, and hips. Why would my stomach getting larger be a cause for alarm?"

“No! This is not happening to me. I went to the doctor regularly,” was all I kept telling myself. A friend’s sister was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in late 2009 and passed away in June 2010. I remember her telling us, as her sister was battling the disease, that her sister had not had a pap smear since the sister's kids were born, 15-20 years prior. Well, I didn't think I was at risk because I had a pap smear on a regular schedule. My OB/GYN had moved me to every other year since I had had a partial hysterectomy and was perimenopausal. So I go along on my merry way not thinking I was at risk. I prayed for her sister and her family. Kevin and I attended the funeral. Nine months later, I was diagnosed with the same thing. My diagnosis was slightly less advanced than her sister’s was. My cancer had spread to other parts of my abdomen but Praise God the cancer was not in the lymph nodes.

After being stunned and in a fog for weeks, I asked God, “Why me?” He whispered back, “Because you have a voice and I need you to speak for all the women who no longer have a voice or who don’t have the strength to speak.” I began to do more research and knew that God had given me a voice to speak up and speak out; to be an inspiration. I began to form a closer relationship with my oncologist, Dr. Alfred Jenkins, asking him question after question. When he informed me that you could not detect Ovarian Cancer with a pap smear, I was stunned. This was further evidence that I needed to become more vocal about Ovarian Cancer.

Five months into my journey, after a diagnosis of Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer, three surgeries including an ileostomy, 3 rounds of chemotherapy, a bald head, a fierce wig and some cute caps, I realized that I was pregnant with THE idea, my baby, TEAL BUTTERFLIES. Eight months in, I have had more chemo, minor setbacks, more surgeries, and some difficult days, but my baby continues to grow. TEAL BUTTERFLIES is on its way and soaring.

Before I share more about TEAL BUTTERFLIES, I would like to say thank you to my husband, Kevin Osbey, who has been my caregiver for the past 8 months. He has made me feel special and loved during my entire illness. I ask each of you to remember the caregivers in your prayers because the disease takes its toll on them as well. I cannot express enough thanks to my mom, Barbara Robinson Knox, who has travelled back and forth from California to Georgia, over and over again to be by my side. My Aunt Deborah, a health care professional, has been a sounding board and a cheerleader, asking everyone she meets to pray for me. My brothers, nephews and nieces have lifted my spirits on the days when my faith waned. My niece’s words, “Auntie , you are beautiful!” always brought a smile to my thinning face. My uncle, calling me just to check in and flying to Atlanta to take me home from the hospital, reminding me he brought me home from the hospital when I was born and he was there to bring me home again.

Tears come to my eyes when I speak of long-time girlfriend, Lori Blackwell, who flew out from Los Angeles to be with me during chemotherapy. My Atlanta bestie, Yolanda Owens, who has been there every step of the way; making sure we wanted for nothing and called everyone she knew to be at my 50th Hospital Birthday Party. Yes, I was in the hospital on my 50th birthday. My partner-in-crime, Tony Hunter, calls me every day just to see if I am okay and make me laugh. Then there is Regenia Cooper, who made sure we had house cleaning services during my illness.

Let me not forget two people who ha

ve been instrumental in providing me excellent care, Dr. Kyra Harvey, Primary Care Physician, and Dr. Alfred Jenkins, Gynecologic Oncologist. I thank God for Dr. Harvey. She did not dismiss my urinary tract infection as routine, went a step further during my examination, and sent me for further testing. There are not enough words that I can write that would sum up Dr. Jenkins. He is brilliant, knowledgeable, precise and honest. He saved my life. I know that I was probably one of his toughest patients and pried into his personal life one time too many, but I needed him to see me as a person and not just a patient. I think I accomplished that.

So many people have prayed for me: from the East Coast to the West Coast and the North and the South; my family, aunts, uncles, cousins, immediate and distant relatives, in-laws and extended; those I've known for a lifetime and a hot minute; friends who I met in Los Angeles and Atlanta; Pastor William Watley, Rev. Larry Jones, Retired Pastor George Moore, and the ministerial staff at Saint Philip AME; Reverends Robert Shaw, Anne Shaw, Robert Hendricks, Daryl Walker, John White III, and Kenneth Paden; church members from Saint Philip AME, First AME, St. James AME, New Philadelphia AME, New Testament Church of Christ Holiness, and Living Word Church of God In Christ; colleagues I worked with while working for the City of Los Angeles, the American Cancer Society, and Macy’s; classmates from Carson High and UCLA; my unwavering sorors of Delta Sigma Theta, especially the jewels on the mountain at Stone Mountain-Lithonia Alumnae Chapter; the dedicated men and women who work with my husband at Clayton County Water Authority; and all the wonderful people who I met on MyBarackObama.com, facebook, Womanifesting, and the Porch. It is because of the prayers of the many that I am able to share my journey. I am humbled and grateful for each and every person who is in my life and who has been on this journey with me. They have made the journey endurable.

More about TEAL BUTTERFLIES:

TEAL BUTTERFLIES was born as a voice for all the women who are no longer with us, as the wind for those who are still soaring and as an educational resource to prevent another woman from taking this journey. I am striving to use the voice that God has given me; and live by the words that many of us have heard sung in church on Sunday mornings: "If I can help somebody, as I pass along, if I can cheer somebody, with a word or song, if I can show somebody, how they're travelling wrong, then my living shall not be in vain." I am not sure what life holds for me, but what I am sure of is that you have to “cut the rope” from this disease, step into your destiny without doubt, take hold of your life, only looking toward what the future has to offer because God is still in control!

The Name:

TEAL is the color that represents Ovarian Cancer. BUTTERFLIES represent resilience. Butterflies go through many journeys as they soar. Those of us with this disease will go through various phases and journeys, but we will SOAR!

TEAL BUTTERFLIES was created as a vehicle to garner more attention to Ovarian Cancer and as a medium to increase awareness about the disease. It serves as an inspirational tool to share your hopes and success stories, as well as an opportunity to raise money for research and programs specifically focused on Ovarian Cancer. TEAL BUTTERFLIES is dedicated to educating women about early detection of Ovarian Cancer and empowering them with resources and information to become intimate with their bodies and bring awareness to the early symptoms of this disease.

TEAL BUTTERFLIES is working toward becoming a 501(c)3 organization. In the interim, we are working with other organizations, like the Georgia Ovarian Cancer Alliance, to raise funds for Ovarian Cancer awareness. September is designated as Ovarian Cancer awareness month and TEAL BUTTERFLIES accepted the challenge. On Friday, September 2, 2011, we participated in the National Wear Teal Day. People all across the country painted their towns teal from urban America to suburban American, from every hamlet to every hood, from the outhouse to the White House. Some put on a teal shirt, while others dolled up in a teal dress, painted their toe nails sparkly teal, or added a piece of teal jewelry to bring about Ovarian Cancer Awareness- the "other" silent killer. We also participated in an Overcome Ovarian Cancer Walk and raised $4100 dollars to help towards awareness. Team TEAL BUTTERFLIES consisted of approximately 20 dedicated walkers made up of family and friends, who donned their teal tee shirts, caps, and beads in my honor, waving teal pompoms as they canvassed the course. Additionally, we sponsored a Teal Toes Pedicure Party to bring about awareness. This is an event where friends get together and get teal pedicures as a vehicle to spark conversation about Ovarian Cancer. We had fun, made our toes cute, discussed Ovarian Cancer, and raised money. Each guest received a bag of goodies with Ovarian Cancer awareness information along with non-carcinogenic teal nail polish. This event raised enough money to purchase four Ovarian Cancer Bags of Hope for women who have been recently diagnosed.

If you would like to give hope to a woman who was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, go to www.gaovariancancer.org and donate in my honor or in honor of someone else. You can also go to my website www.tealbutterflies.org and find other organizations to support. Also, check out my Teal Butterflies facebook page to stay abreast of Ovarian Cancer information and don’t forget to follow Teal Butterflie on Twitter.

TEAL BUTTERFLIES Tidbits:

Feel your abdomen and pelvic area! Become intimate with your body and not just your breasts!

Don’t just check the “girls”, also check the girls’ best friends ….your ovaries. Talk to your OB/GYN about early detection.

Ovarian Cancer is known as the “other” silent killer of women, most women being diagnosed at Stage 3 or Stage 4. Ovarian cancer accounts for approximately 3 percent of cancers in women. While the ninth most common cancer among women, ovarian cancer is the fifth leading cause of cancer-related death among women, and is the deadliest of gynecologic cancers.

Ovarian cancer symptoms:

• Pelvic and abdominal pain

• Urinary frequency and urgency

• Increased abdominal size and bloating

• Difficulty eating and feeling full

Other symptoms may include:

• Constipation or diarrhea

• Nausea

• Indigestion or gas

• Abnormal vaginal bleeding

• Unusual fatigue

• Unexplained weight loss or gain

• Shortness of breath

• Low back pain

Who is at risk for ovarian cancer?

• Women with close relatives with ovarian cancer, such as your mother, sister or daughter, especially if she was diagnosed before the age of 40. Having several family members with ovarian or breast cancer also increases risk.

• Women with a personal history of cancer of the breast, uterus, colon or rectum, or a family history of these cancers.

• Women over 55 years of age.

• Women who have never been pregnant.

• Women who have been taking estrogen after menopause for at least 10 years.

• Obese women, particularly if they carry excess weight around the waist.

• It used to be believed that fertility drugs increased a woman's risk of ovarian cancer. Using talcum powder in the vaginal area was also considered a possible risk factor, but neither of these is now felt to produce significant risk.